[image description: a printed out flyer with the picture of a sleeping grey tabby cat on it. It has text on it that reads:
Muffin disclaimer
So you’ve ordered a muffin! We hope you’re up for a challenge.
Our wobbly tabby cat Bea REALLY likes muffins so there are a few things to be aware of if you have a muffin in the cat area.
- She WILL climb you to try and get your muffin - She is not very good at climbing so she will claw her way up your body - It WILL hurt - She WILL NOT give up - She may try to eat the muffin right out of your mouth - She is not allowed to eat muffins
You may pick her up / move her away if needed and if you’re really struggling, come and talk to us and we will help. No matter how much she wants to, it is still very important that you don’t let her eat any muffin as it will make her sick.
Good luck and we hope you enjoy your muffin experience!
She may look sweet and innocent but we promise you she’s not
/end image description]
Bea the muffin thief has come upon my timeline again and I am obliged to reblog.
When my mom and aunt were younger my aunt was in high school and my mom in middle school. A group of girls were bullying my aunt and one slapped her in the lunch room. The principal met with my grandma and the other mom. He said they weren’t punishing the other girl because he didn’t get involved in “girl problems.” My grandma asked if that meant my aunt could retaliate the next time it happened and he said no then it would be a fight and they’d both get in trouble.
So my grandma turned away from him and to the other mom and said “I have another daughter. She doesn’t go to this school and she’s a star softball player with her own bat. You can tell your daughter to stop bothering mine or you can drive her to the hospital with a shattered jaw. That’s your choice.” And walked out.
Few months later that girl stole a necklace from my aunt. My grandma called the cops and they all drove to her house to get it back. The cop came outside with it and said he told the family my grandma wouldn’t press charges if they gave it back. My grandma took the necklace and said “Then you’re going to have to go in and tell them you lied because I am pressing charges. She’s a thief and I want her treated like one.”
My grandma was a single mom in the 70s with two daughters and she took no shit from men who tried to undermine her and her daughters.
She also got excommunicated and then re-communicated after bothering the Vatican enough to let her back in
She doesn’t even like being Catholic and is Episcopalian now. It was more of a “You can’t fire me, I quit!” which is even better, at least to me
op im begging you for more stories
Please @rainbow-femme more? Pretty please?
Ok here’s some more.
She was a nurse up until recently (finally retired after trying and failing 4 times)
She got into it a little later in life and worked as an army nurse for a while before working regularly as a hospital nurse.
Most of the other nurses were either also new and young and did what they were told or older and experienced and were used to being bullied by the doctors. As she had dealt with soldiers and had to learn to tell army dudes what to do, she had no interest in letting doctors treat her less than them.
At her hospital the doctors would go into a room looking for something, ransack it, then leave it messy for a nurse to clean up. The first time one tried that on her she stood in the door and said he wasn’t leaving until he cleaned his mess. He tried to say he was busy and couldn’t take the time to clean and she said if someone started dying she’d let him know, and didn’t move until he cleaned his mess.
She became a terror to the doctors who she did not let give any shit. If she paged a doctor and he didn’t come right away, he needed a good reason and lying wouldn’t work because the nurses would tattle and say he was doing a crossword and ignored her, so if she paged they had to go after her or else she’d yell at them.
One time in particular a doctor was chatting with a nurse and didn’t notice she’d paged him five times. When he realized he went running down the hall, saying “Out of my way, [name] is mad at me!”
When my moms gallbladder was inflamed and near bursting after my brother was born, she went to my grandmas hospital. They told her she was fine and to wait, while she was on the floor holding her stomach and crying. My dad called my grandma and told her the situation so she marched down to the ER and said “That’s my daughter, what time today can you get her in for surgery?” When they tried to say they thought she should go home my grandma wouldn’t let them. Luckily they got her into surgery in time to avoid it bursting.
During the AIDS crisis, she also bullied the other nurses who would refuse to treat anyone with AIDS. She said if you treat smokers who gave themselves lung cancer you don’t get to turn around and say you won’t help an AIDS patient who you blamed for contracting the disease. Her favorite patient from that time was a man who got it from doing drugs that she took care of regularly. He had a cat named Speed Ball and he would bring in pictures to show her.
I went to the local aviary today and they had some really mean things to say about owls.
I can confirm that most birds have a detectable amount of wiring behind the eyes - blinking lights and buttons and sliders and frizzy things that spark and chirp and beep. They also have a lot of soul that can communicate with ours because the programming is fairly compatible. Vultures are clever and curious, swans are clear and lawful, chickens have a lot of personality, caged parrots are dissociated and disinherited and frankly worrying, falconry-trained birds of prey are tremendously businesslike.
And owls are absolutely lovely beasts with their own irreplaceable validity. but they are basically stuffed with polyester fiberfill. They have one button, like a child’s toy dinosaur that opens and closes its mouth when you press the back of its head. And it isn’t even a sophisticated electronic button it’s just a lever that rocks back and forth to make the claws open and close. I think they may have actually evolved independently from sponges. Their skulls simply exist to create holes that funnel sound and light, and as a place to hang a giant hinged beak. An owl is just an empty tube like a windchime that the wind whistles through, and you can drop meat down it. They use the meat to generate feathers, and then emit the bones in pressed little packages like those machines that flatten a penny and stamp it with the logo of a theme park. I think that’s the gist of it - most birds are electronics of varying levels of sophistication, but owls are just a system of levers and pulleys. No elevator music in those skulls, just the wind echoing through empty caverns of slightly irritating design. Absolutely fantastic.
Fun fact, when the animal trainers for HP heard they had to use owls, they asked JK if they could use ravens instead, to which she said “no”.
Cue years of torment.
Hedwig had to be played by multiple different birds, as each could only learn one (1) trick.
They somehow, after months of training, taught some owls to fly from one end of the Great Hall to another. They did not succeed in teaching them to drop what they were holding. The tech team had to create lightweight harnesses (owls aren’t strong birds) that could be used to mechanically hold and drop letters/parcels for the scenes.
The good news was that once an owl learns a trick, it doesn’t forget it, so they could reuse the same birds over the years of filming.
It still took about 6 months to teach all the owls tricks where it would have only taken a few weeks with ravens.
I just love the phrasing on the sign at the top because it’s worded not like humans started to think owls were wise because of mythological associations with a deity, but rather like Athena herself started the rumor because she just really liked owls.
Athena: holding a notebook covered with owl stickers, wearing large rimmed glasses, and carrying a Hedwig backpack: Well, I heard owls are the smartest. most beautiful birds.
Those architecture nerd who built the acropolis fo her: yeah, okay.
One time I was DMing a campaign where the players walked into that tavern every campaign has and one of the patrons was a Mindflayer wearing a very bad human disguise who insisted his name was Johnald Humanman. And they were just like “Oh, okay. Well, that’s his business” and didn’t interact with Johnald Humanman at all.
I planned for a lot of eventualities but I never planned for a D&D party being polite
I once had a DM tell us that we completed a quest line about 3 sessions earlier than he expected because we got told by a group of lizardfolk that “nobody goes to that part of the swamp” and all went “huh, ok! Thanks for the warning” and just didn’t go
